it's all about getting (un)comfortable

Today I noticed that our class has transitioned from being a class full of strangers kind of speaking how they felt to a class full of people who now trust the space enough to speak about tough and hard things with less reserve or fear. Not to say that there is no trepidation in speaking about these hard and sometimes taboo topics, it just seemed as if people really exposed their feelings and were open to others' views too. I know that has been progressively happening all month but today really seemed to cement that. It's hard to talk to even our closest relatives about race sometimes and here we are really hashing it out with people we have known for not even three weeks. I think that is saying something about the idea of taboo topics in society. We are told we can talk about these things in this class, in fact it is expected and so we do. We allow ourselves to ask questions and think of possible solutions because, well we have to in order to not fail or be picked on daily :) But maybe that is society's problem and the reason we have so far to go. When we were talking about what we can do in order to help combat racism I was thinking that maybe it isn't enough to simply talk to people about it. Maybe we have to admit that we're all racist, and sexist, and ageist and all those things we aren't supposed to be. Maybe then we can be honest with each other enough to work toward a resolution. Because if you think about a conversation with a friend or relative in which you speak of race in some way, like someone telling a racist joke, or witnessing a racist interaction or hate crime, we focus on the horrid nature of the act. Which is appropriate after witnessing a blatant act of racism. Like when we watched the video yesterday and I know I just shook my head throughout because I was shocked at the idea that happens. But what about afterward when we could critically think and talk about why these people treated the two men differently and what we ourselves do? Of course we don't want to say we're racist and we add to the problem because well, who wants to think of themselves as such? But until we can admit that how can we progress? So in talking to someone about racism and glossing over the fact that individually we are racist and add to it even if we didn't begin this labeling centuries ago, maybe we should take responsibility to admit our faults first in order to help the other person know it's okay and we can begin to move forward. This reminds me a little of what Katy said in class today to Konark in response to his story about him and his friend and their nicknames for each other. She said she understands how it's hard to view things we do as racist because sometimes it feels easier to laugh or excuse it away. And that is powerful to say you understand instead of just pointing out what is wrong with what someone is doing and put them on the defensive. I liked that. So even though it sucks to point out weakness and imperfection in ourselves to another first and before question it may just help our society accept, heal and begin to move toward some true change. Because if we continue to gloss over our own personal feelings and internalized messages then we will remain stagnate in silence and ignorance. Maybe you always ask men to carry large things and thing women are weaker, that's fine as long as you can say that and be aware that you feel that way and try to get to the root of that thought. Then you can begin to change the message. And then you can help others change their messages by sharing your story and experience they can relate to.